I participate/volunteer with an amazing group called The Fictionista Workshop. They are truly an unbelievable community dedicated to encouraging and improving the world of writing for women. So occasionally I will post my responses to prompts that are sent out daily from The Fictionista lovelies. Today's prompt was as follows:

“Is it the end? Or the beginning?” he asked tentatively.

Taking a deep breath, Anna blew it out slowly. She wasn’t sure how to answer that question. It felt like an ending but the end of what? The end of their marriage? Or was it the end of her punishing them both for a mistake he made years ago? Maybe it was the beginning? But that only led to asking herself, the beginning of what?

Was it the beginning of starting over? Of moving on, stepping beyond the living, breathing reminder that he had once been unfaithful? Or was it the beginning of her life without him?

She held all of those answers in her heart but she just wasn’t sure which was the right one.

“Anna,” his voice cracked on the one syllable sigh. Anna felt him come to stand behind her, felt the warmth of his body though he didn’t touch her. Part of her was glad he didn’t because she wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t shatter in a million pieces when he did but the other part, the part that loved him regardless of his indiscretion ached because he was unsure if he should touch her. “Please, talk to me.”

Blake Randall was the love of her life. She didn’t how to function without him in her life, didn’t know how to breathe.

Anna turned to stare up into the deep blue of her husbands eyes and behind all the pain, all the regret she still saw the man he had always been. Anna could see the man she still loved. At that moment she had her answer.

“It’s the beginning, Blake.”



xoxoxoxoxo
bellasunderstudy

So after an enormous amount of discussion back and forth between myself and the ever suffering Jessica, because lord knows I have put the woman through the ringer trying to nail down the details on this fic, Someone like you is finally under way. Thank goodness.

I have worked through and completed a prologue as well as the first chapter. My plan is to have a few chapters, at least five to seven, in the can before I post the prologue. I also hope to keep up a one a week posting schedule. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this will happen. As we all know Real Life sometimes, actually more often than not, gets in the way of the creative process but these are my plans.

I hope everyone has had a peaceful and joyous holiday season. I will be traveling during the ringing in of the New Year so I will send out my wishes for you all to be safe with whatever your plans for celebrating might be.

xoxoxoxoxo
bellasunderstudy

I will begin trying to post a few "teasers" and images that pertain to Someone Like You, here over the next few weeks.

So I'm working on a new story idea and I've been fumbling through the outline for quite sometime. The title will be 'Someone like you' . The little pic over to the right there...well that's serving for a little inspiration for my male character. That whole brooding, stand-offish thing? Yeah, Mr. Pattinson seems to have that nailed.

I hope that once the story begins to post it will be interesting and enjoyable. The main characters come from similar yet very different backgrounds and I hope that the way in which their lives eventually intertwine will make for a sweet, yet thrilling ride through their finding one another and discovering to trust not only one another but themselves.

I'm debating the idea of beginning to post the stories I have written - and will in the future write- here on this blog....that's still up in the air. I would like to maybe at some point work on an original fiction piece. I don't want to step away from the Twilight fandom, I don't mean that at all, but I believe that everyone who writes wants to see if they could do something original and have people enjoy it. Don't you agree? I have been blessed with the knowledge that at least for some they enjoy what I've put out into this cyber universe we have created. At some point in my future I would like to know that that could transfer into something else, to know that it's not just our mutual love for the Twilight characters that make the stories I tell enjoyable. A part of me wants to believe that I could really do something original and have it be appreciated.

Someday.....for now its just a wishful musing, an attempt to put my heartfelt desire into words in the hope that karma would bring it back to me somewhere in my future.



xoxoxoxoxoxo
bellasunderstudy1

Wow I think I will need to dust off the cobwebs here since it's been MONTHS since I've posted anything. So very many things have occurred since my last post. MMB, my first fic, completed. Thank you to all of you wonderful people who read, reviewed and sent encouragement and love to me through that story. I started and have completed, or at least the last chapter has posted, another fic. I'm currently working through the second epilogue and a few outtakes for that fic, Need You Now. That story has been a complete and total labor of love. It's been cathartic for a myriad of reasons. Those of you who have read the story know that I based the story on many aspects of my own life and how we have dealt with my daughter's illness.
I am working through another storyline and laying the groundwork for that fic. I am also working with the Fictionista Workshop ladies and I just have to tell ya that has been an amazing experience. The great group of women I am working with currently are absolutely outstanding.
I plan on taking a bit of a break once NYN completes totally. I'll keep writing but won't be posting until sometime early next year. I would like to write much of the new story before I begin posting anything but I will be posting again.
So not that this was a lot or anything new if you've been reading NYN but I felt that I needed to at least visit since it's been so very long.

xoxoxoxoxo
bellasunderstudy

So I've been doing some reworking of Chapter 34 of MMB which should be posting sometime tonight, hopefully. It's back with Jessica at the moment and she'll get it back to me soon with the okay of the tweaks that were needed to make the scenes work better. And as promised there will be a summary for the new story which I'm working on as I finish up the final chapter and epilogue of MMB. Yep, there are only two chapters plus the epilogue left on this labor of love, this journey of epic discovery you have traveled with me.

The new story will have a bit of a different feel to it than MMB, I think. I'm venturing into trying this in third person instead of the first person I'm most comfortable with, that decision is still in the preliminary stages and we'll see if I continue with that adventure of trying a different voice or fall back on what's most comfortable....I would like to think that I will push myself and discover more as I test out my wings with this whole writing thing.

As for the story itself the title is Someone like you and I'm going to post the summary here as well as in the next update for MMB. So without further ado the summary....

Haunted by ghosts from their pasts, can Edward and Bella help one another find trust again when their paths cross in the sleepy town of Forks? Or will their ghosts tear them apart? AH.

It's a short little summary but it's the official one for Someone like you, I hope you'll come along for the ride.

Until next time....

xoxoxoxoxo
bellasunderstudy

So I'm out of town at the moment but I wanted to let you all know that chapter 33 is pretty much done. I'm posting this picture as a teaser for the upcoming trip which will be revealed in chapter 33. They will be departing for the long awaited trip in chapter 34. I hope you all will enjoy the fun our favorite couple will be having leading up to the final chapter.

Hope those of you, like me, who are on Spring Break are enjoying yourselves.

I have to post because I am so jazzed about writing after spending two hours on Skype with the wonderful ladies of the Fictionista Workshop. I have recently volunteered to be a part of this amazing community and there are no words for how incredibly wonderful the conversation was that I was a party too.....just incredible.

I am in awe of Anjoulle Floyd. The information and advice she gave to those of us lucky enough to be a part of the session was invaluable. I am, in so many ways and for so many different reasons,looking forward to working with the ladies of the Fictionista Workshop.

I hope that by becoming a part of this unparalleled community I will be able to improve my writing skills, learn new techniques for writing and help to support and further the talents of the amazing women writers we are all blessed to share in their craft.

I honored and humbled to be a part of the Fictionista Workshop as it grows and continues to get the message out in the world about how many women with a hidden talent of writing are in our community.

Thank you to the lovely ladies that have put together the Fictionista Workshop. Thank you for bringing us a place to be supported and encouraged, while honing our skills and helping us on our journey to becoming better writers.


xoxoxoxoxoxo
BUS

So chapter 32 is done and off to Jessica. I have never gone so long between updates but with the craziness that has been my life over the last month and then the equally as crazy things Jessica has been dealing with it's taking a while to get the chapter together.

I'm about 3500 words into Chapter 33, so it's well underway. I would like to say that chapter 33 will be done in a day or so and on it's way to Jessica. I've posted a couple of pic teases on the MMB thread on Twilighted.net. I'm going to post the teaser for Chapter33....

Hi! I haven't posted in quite sometime again and for those who follow me on twitter you know that my daughter has been really ill. We've been in and out of the hospital over the last few weeks, thankfully we're home now.

Needless to say with a sick child my Real-life has been less than ideal and it's certainly be non-writing friendly. Not only is my creative brain to damn tired to be....well, creative, I've had zero time to give to the next chapter of Make Me Believe.

Good news though, the chapter is basically finished. I'm editing and hopes are high that it will be to Ms. Jessica later today. That is if there are no major catastrophe's within the household, which lately has been the norm.

Until next time... xoxoxoxoxo

Today is beta appreciation day and although I left a little snippet over on The Fic Bridge I wanted to take a minute here to send out a thank you to Jessica1971. Jessica stepped in to MMB when it was about 11 - 12 chapters in and at first helped me out as a second beta. Due to unforeseen circumstances my friend Stavanger1 had to step away from the fic-world and gave up her beta duties on MMB. Jessica was awesome and stepped in to take over full duties of beta on my little story.

The fact that she was one willing to take on that responsibility and second did it effortlessly are just two of the reasons that I can't really thank her enough. She has done an amazing job of making my words look so much better than they would without her help. Jessica has helped me learn things about writing that I would not have otherwise. She has done this with grace and even when I make stupid grammatical errors she points them out and shows me why they're wrong. In turn she has helped me to grow and become a better writer.

She's also become such a good friend to me. Though we've never met face to face she is truly one of my best friends. Thank you Jessica for being more than just someone who corrects my mistakes and for being my friend when I've really needed one.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you and appreciate all you do!!

BUS
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hi!!
So it's been a while since I've posted but I wanted to give an update on the next chapter of MMB. I sent it to Jessica last night so I should be posting it later this week. The delay is due to my own OCD and the fact that I had the chapter written, decided I didn't like about half of it and rewrote it. Soooo....needless to say it took a while to get it out there, but like I said it should be up later this week on FF.net.

xoxoxoxoxoxo
BUS

Okay so here's the last of the ones that I have submitted to The Fictionista's. This is my entry from yesterday's prompt....
Word Prompt: Lust

Scenario: Imagine you are working as a bartender on a Friday night. A drunk woman is pouring her heart out to you just as a brawl breaks out. A beer bottle shatters on the floor and a woman screams. What happens next?

The bar was hopping tonight. I had already emptied the tip jar twice and it was filled to overflowing now.

“Hey, man, you think you could grab another case of Corona out of the back cooler?” Jasper called over his shoulder as he served up the latest God awful concoction of Jaegar and Redbull for some chic sitting at the end of the bar.

How the fuck anybody drinks that shit I will never know.

“Yeah, no problem, on my way,” I yelled over the thump of the music the DJ was spinning tonight.

Friday nights at The Midnight Sun were always interesting. It started out calmly enough. I came in for my shift at eight like I do every Friday night. Changing into the standard black t-shirt with the bar logo scrolled across the back, I turned to step out of the office and was met by the bar owner, Carlisle.

He was a nice enough guy, not a man of many words, but he had been good to me since I started here six months ago. Carlisle didn’t ask questions about why I would move to a small town on the Olympic Peninsula from Chicago. He didn’t seem to care what brought me here and I was more than happy not to offer any of those reasons up voluntarily.

“Evening, Edward,” Carlisle greeted with a slight smile as he passed to enter the office, closing the door softly behind him, not waiting for a response from me.

“Evening to you, Carlisle,” I mumbled as I turned and made my way up the stairs to my post behind the bar.

Getting right to work restocking the beer cooler with the more popular selections we offered. I double checked and replaced all of the liquor bottles for any that would not make it through last call tonight. Jasper joined me before long and we caught up with one another from the week, as our last shift together had been the previous Friday night.

Jasper had met a new girl a few weeks before, Alice, and he was beside himself with talking about how he had found ‘the one’.

My thoughts on the whole sordid affair was simple….he’s fucking nuts. I learned back in Chicago there was no such thing as ‘the one’ and I had no intention of traveling down that path ever again. Period. End of story. There is no one, not for me, not anymore.

The only thing I was looking for now was a good time and a good lay. The one for me was whichever girl caught my attention for the night.

Some tried to tell me back in Chicago that I hadn’t found the one that it was all about lust and not love but I knew different. She was different or so I thought…..

I shook my head as I wiped down the high ball glasses and finished up the last of my prep work for the night just as the bar began to fill with the college co-eds looking for a way to blow off some steam from the week long late night study sessions. I remember those days fondly. Pulling an all nighter with my best friend, Mike, and the girl I thought was my one. We would stay up working on whatever assignment or test was on the agenda. She was a whiz with the science stuff and helped me study for my chemistry exam as we prepared for finals the week before it all went to shit.

I released a heavy sigh and ran a hand through my hair as the thoughts and memories of that time in my life flashed through my mind. It did me no good to do that to myself because that’s all they were….memories.

The fact remained that even after all this time, when those memories flitted through my conscious or when her name would suddenly be on the tip of my tongue I still got the same choking sensation and my heart would clench in my chest. It was testament to the fact that she was different. And I knew that I at one time, like Jasper, believed in having one person made truly just for me.

So how it was that I was now finding myself standing behind the bar after a hellishly busy night listening to the same chic, Jasper had been pouring the Redbull and Jeagar for just a few hours ago, spill her guts about the latest guy to fuck and run on her was yet one of the ways this night would go down in the record books under completely fucked up.

The things she had confided in me, like I was Dr. Phil or some shit, was beyond my comprehension as to why she felt the need to dump her troubles in my lap. I had enough problems of my own but I listened, nodding my head and humming in the appropriate places. She was so far gone that I didn’t think it would matter if I stood there completely mute and never uttered a sound.

“So….ya, this last guy, John, I think that was his name…..” she slurred.

Holy hell, the chic couldn’t even remember the name of the last dude she bedded and yet she wondered why she had an issue with them ducking out before the sun was even up. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, now does it?

“Yeah, yeah, his name was James.”

Thought his name was John? I thought miserably to myself as I listened to her drone on and on.

“He was really nice or so I thought. We went out on a couple dates…..really, Eddie, he was a nice guy. But then he just up and disappeared when things started getting……intense,” her words were coming slower and she turned up the last of her drink before looking up at me through bloodshot eyes.

“Ya know, Vicky, why don’t you let me call you a cab and you call it a night, huh sweets?” I offered hopefully because honestly I’d had about all I could take of the young and clueless episode for one night.

“Oh…..yeah, may-“ her words were cut off as I heard the crash of a beer bottle and the sounds of a woman’s voice screaming over the music.

“Oh shit! Jasper! Where’s Emmett?” I called as I vaulted myself over the bar and made my way toward what looked like two girls squaring off against one another in the middle of the dance floor.

From what I could see one was a little bitty thing with long chestnut hair that for a split second caused my heart to stutter and I faltered for a half step.

It’s not her dumbass. She’s still in Chicago. Get a grip!

The other was at least a good six inches taller than the brunette with long strawberry blond hair and at the moment she was staring wide eyed at the other girl. Evidently the little brunette was the one breaking the beer bottle. And from what I could see she was about to use it to mess the blond up.

“Bitch, you better back up! I don’t know what your problem is but I’m about to solve it for you ,” the voice of the little brunette wafted to me as I pushed my way through the circle of people surrounding them.

As soon as I heard that voice I froze solid in my spot. For all of thity seconds I could do nothing but stare at the back of the little brunette. I felt Emmett bump into me on his way toward the women to break up the fight before one of them got hurt seriously.

“Alright, ladies, I believe that’s enough fun for one night,” Emmett called.

Though he smiled through most every situation and always seemed to come off as sounding friendly, he carried himself with an authority that most obeyed without question. It worked well for him to head up security for the bar. Emmett just had a way of helping people see the error of their ways with him rarely ever having to become physical.

Emmett’s voice snapped me out of my catatonic state and I moved without any further thought about what I was doing. Circling in front of the brunette I threw her over my shoulder and made my way toward the back door.

I could hear Emmett and Jasper calling to me as I stepped into the alley just behind the bar, letting the door slam behind me before I sat her back down on her feet. I had no idea what she was doing in this podunk town and I sure as fuck didn’t know why she was in my bar. I was furious. My heart was slamming against my ribs and my breathing was rapid and shallow.

Was I was actually seeing the vision of what was before me?

Why? Why would she be here now after all this time? I was completely dumbstruck.

I blinked several times, shaking my head trying to clear it, making sure that I had not completely lost my mind in the last ten minutes. I could hear her rapid breathing; her intoxicating scent was filling my nose.

She truly was standing right in front of me. She wasn’t in Chicago, she was here.

“Edward…” she breathed.

“Why? Why are you here, Bella?”

Okay...there's a little edit in this that is not on the Fictionista submission. I made a mistake and named Seattle in one paragraph when I had said that Edward had moved to a 'small town' on the Olympic peninsula so, I corrected that here. It's mine...I can do that. *wink*

And here's another.... With the following prompts given by the dear ladies over at the Fictionista Workshop word prompt: pulse Multimedia Share: Search Google or YouTube for one of the following words, then select a search result at random and write about it: envelope, happy, porch swing

I sat waiting, incessantly rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans trying anything possible to distract me from the task at hand. Desperate to calm my ragged nerves I picked at the destroyed skin of my fingers. The butterflies in my stomach had me on the verge of being ill and I wasn’t sure I could get through this discussion without losing my lunch all over the porch.

How the hell am I going to do this….I don’t even know where to begin….

The sound of the door opening brought my attention back to the present and my eyes shot to the person stepping out the door. I stood quickly and crossed from the swing to extend my hand in the attempt to shake hands. I hoped the steadiness of my hand didn’t betray my inner turmoil and shake like a leaf on a tree when he took my hand.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Sw-,“ my words cut off immediately as Charlie quirked an eyebrow in silent question of the sudden formality I had reverted to in my nervousness. “Charlie, sorry…..um, it’s good to see you, sir.”

Charlie snorted quietly as he shook my hand and I could see a slight smirk attempting to form under his mustache.

“Good to see you too, son. What’s got you so skittish? Bella isn’t here you know. Gone off with that sister of your’s again somewhere.”
“Oh. Um….yes, sir, I know that. I needed to talk to you, sir. I w-wanted to…um….I needed to….” I stumbled over how to begin this conversation and wasn’t doing a very good job of even remotely covering up my nervousness.

I was well aware that Bella and Alice were currently shopping the afternoon away as my dear sister had helped in my plan. Bella left our apartment early this morning to visit her parents and had planned on spending most of the day with them. Thanks to my pixie-like sister those plans had been shortened and gave me the perfect opportunity to speak with Charlie knowing we wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Edward, what’s got into you, boy? I’ve never known you to be so tongue tied.” Charlie laughed, clapping me on the back and leading me back toward the swing which I had just vacated.

I took a deep breath as we sat back down and tried to gather my thoughts trying to find the words to say what I came here today to do.

Turning to look the man who could quite literally make my life a living hell at this moment I said what I felt in my heart for his daughter and laid out my intentions.

“Charlie, I wanted to ask you a very important question and I’m….well I really don’t know how you will react. I want to tell you how much I love your daughter, sir. I love her more than I can even explain to you. And the miraculous thing is she seems to feel the same way about me. I plan on asking her to be my wife, sir. And well, I would like to do that with your blessing, I think it would mean a great deal to Bella to know that you gave your permission even though she’s very much an adult. I want to make her happy, Charlie, that’s all I’ve ever wanted and getting your blessing is just one step in making that happen for the rest of our lives.”

I did my best to keep eye contact with Charlie although it was exceedingly difficult the longer it seemed to take him to respond to what I said. The second’s drug into minutes as I waited for him to answer in some way, I wasn’t sure he was even breathing at the moment.

That’s when I saw it….and my pulse quickened as I watched the smile spread across Charlie’s face.

“Edward, there is nothing that I would like more than to give my blessing to you.”
He stood and we shook hands briefly before he pulled me into a one armed embrace and slapped me on the back as he laughed.

“Just one thing and I’m only going to say this once so you need to listen and listen close,” the smile he had worn only a moment ago was gone. “You make Bella happy and I’d have to be a complete fool not to see that but if you ever, and I mean ever, hurt her I will hunt you down and they will be looking for you for years to come. Do I make myself clear?”

I swallowed thickly and nodded my head curtly. I wasn’t sure how much truth was laced in that threat but I didn’t plan on ever finding out. Charlie smiled and released my hand.

“Well, son, I do believe this call’s for a celebration. I’ve got beer, beer and let’s see I believe I might have a beer.”
We both laughed as he draped a heavy arm across my shoulders and practically drug me toward t he front door.

Now all I had to do is ask her….and I was sure that would be infinitely more difficult than even this conversation had been.

So I'm a few days behind on posting the WitFit entries here but I'll be catching that up today. Here is the first of the entries I have submitted to The Fictionista Workshop over the last several days. There are a few of these which have spurred plot bunnies for me and they will be the spring board for stories from me in the future. Hope you enjoy....

Scenario: You are walking quickly down a city street and bump into another person, causing both of you to fall to the ground. Upon helping the person up, you realize it’s someone from your high school you haven’t seen in over ten years. Write the conversation.

“Umphf.”

Well, that was graceful. I thought as I hit the sidewalk tangled with the woman who had just ran into me as she stepped out of Starbucks.

“Oh. My. God! Are you alright? Oh….oh my….I cannot believe….” The leggy blonde stammered as we unwound ourselves from one another. “It’s been, what, like ten years?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Are you okay?”I blinked several times as I stood trying to get my bearings and figure out who this woman was. Looking at her confusedly for a moment when I finally recognized her. Christen Hough. We went to high school together but I hadn’t seen her since the summer after graduation. I heard she married the quarterback from our high school while still in college and they had a few kids.

“Holy cow! Christen, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you for a minute. You look great. Yeah, it’s been at least that long. How are you?”

“Lord, honey, let me tell you. Three kids, a dog and one good for nothing ex-husband later and I’ve dropped about thirty pounds over the last year. Well, two hundred and thirty if you count the ex-husband as the dead weight I lost. Are you sure you’re alright?” She reached out and touched my arm to emphasize her concern.

“Yeah, yeah, really I’m fine. Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you and Chris split up.” I waved her off and concentrated on the important part of what she had just told me.
“Lord girl, don’t be sorry. He was runnin’ around on me. I caught him in….well, let’s just say a compromising position with his secretary. It all worked out in the end. Me and the kids are better now. “ Christen laughed it off but it was easy to see she wasn’t feeling as blasé about the circumstances of her divorce as she let on.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better. How old are your kids?”

Christen’s smile spread across her face and she lit up like a Christmas tree at the mention of her kids. She immediately reached into her purse to pull out a small photo album and opened it up to show three of the most beautiful children I have ever seen.

“Let me show you their pictures. Robert is 8, Sophia is 6 almost 7and Joshua is 4, almost 5. He and Sofia are only like sixteen months apart. It was crazy there for a little while.”

“Oh God! They are so cute!”

She flipped a few pages and it was obvious how much Christen loved her kids.

“Hey, do you have time to get a coffee? We could catch up a little?” I asked hoping she would be able to hang out for a little while. We were good friends in high school and I was always sad that we lost contact after we left for college. I headed off to Dartmouth while she stayed here attending UW.

Of course, moving across the country was the best thing I ever did and there was no way I would regret meeting the love of my life that first year at Dartmouth, so definitely no complaints here.

“Oh, honey, I would love to but I’ve got to met Chris to pick up the kids. This was his weekend, so I’ve got to meet him in,” she looked down to check her watch. “Shoot! I’ve gotta go, I’m supposed to meet him in about fifteen minutes. God, it was so good seeing you! We really should get together sometime. “ She began fumbling around in her purse for an unknown object. “Here, here’s my business card. It has my cell number on it. Call me and we’ll get together. Have a girl’s night and just catch up. Okay?”

“Absolutely, I’ll give you a call. It was so good to see you and we most definitely have to get together sometime soon.” I slipped her card in my back pocket and we said our goodbyes.

It was really good to see her again. I’m most definitely giving her a call. I thought as I entered the Starbucks and got in line to order my daily staple of a Grande Caramel Macchiato.

I don’t think I would have held it together as well as Christen if that were me, if I were in the same position the devastation would have been epic. I know that I would have fallen completely apart if my marriage would have fallen apart the way Christen’s did. I just have to send out a prayer of thanks and realize how lucky I am at this point in my life to have beautiful children and a husband that would rope the moon for me if asked it of him.

WitFit entry for today. The word prompt was Pride and we were given a scenario to work from as well. Scenario: You wake up and go to the bathroom. You look in the mirror and a different face is staring back at you. Begin your story.

So, this is what came to me with those prompts.....

I stretched my tired and sore muscles as I threw my legs off the bed and stood. Yawning loudly I stumbled through to the bathroom to grab a quick shower. Turning the water to the hottest setting possible, I stripped down while waiting for the water to heat up and caught a glimpse of my reflection from the corner of my eye. I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me at what I saw.

That is not me, there’s just no way….. I thought to myself as I took in the man staring back at me in the mirror.

The scruff of a full day’s growth on my jaw which was more gray than not and the deepening of the lines around my eyes from squinting into the sun for too many years, these were features of a different man, they didn’t belong to me. The man that stared at me in the mirror now was not the man I had once been. The man I saw today was tired, he was haggard and worn.

As much as I would like to pretend they hadn’t affected me, the last few years had taken their toll. They took more out of me that I had to give and there was no denying it, I was bone weary. I had become a completely different person and the man I was looking at now only proved that point.

Stepping into the steaming water, propping one arm against the back wall and laying my head on my forearm I willed the heat to relax my sore muscles. I knew I had overdone it yesterday, that I let my pride get the better of me and attempted more than my body was capable of accomplishing.

But damn, I have forgotten more about gentling horses then those boys will know in the whole of their lifetime and it was nothing but stubborn pride that talked me into climbing on that crazy ass colt.

Didn’t matter if I did own this ranch and they all worked for me, a challenge was a challenge and those boys threw one down.

And your dumbass picked it up…. I snorted a sarcastic laugh at the thought because now my subconscious decides to chastise me but where was that little reminder yesterday before I climbed in the saddle.